Surrender

As I have reflected on 2009, I have been reminded of some very important spiritual lessons that I learned through adversity. One of the BIG lessons had to do with surrender and what that means, looks like and how it feels.

Last September I had a bout with kidney stones the week before I was scheduled to go to a hugely important conference where I was to earn my year's worth of continuing education credits. I ended up in the ER on Labor Day night in severe pain of which I knew from previous experience exactly what the cause was. . . the dreaded kidney stones. I was given big pain meds. and sent home with instructions to make an appointment with my urologist ASAP.

The following morning my husband, Rob, set the appointment with the urologist for the next day. I met with my doctor, with whom I had seen before, and he shared that, because of my previous history with kidney stones, he went ahead and took the liberty of scheduling for the next day a procedure to blast the stones. I was rejoicing and praising God that He was working everything out in a timely manner so that I could keep my plans to attend the conference.

I had the procedure done and all went well. I passed a few pieces of stones the next two days and was feeling a LOT better and believed that I was home free to be able to attend the conference. Then the SECOND wave of stone passing hit. It was Saturday and I was scheduled to leave for the conference the next Tuesday. I became so discouraged and I admitted to God how I was feeling and that I felt that satan was winning this battle, which made me very sad and frustrated, but I just couldn't help it.

I was out of control (of which drives me crazy!) and things just weren't working out the way I wanted them to!!! I fussed and fumed about the situation for the rest of the evening and had difficulty sleeping, not because of the physical pain but because of my discouragement about the whole situation. Finally I calmed down enough to be able to hear God's quiet voice reminding me that He was in control and that HE would work all of this out.

God helped me to start thinking "outside the box" and realize that even if I couldn't go to the conference, there were other ways that I could get my CEU's. I finally was able to surrender the conference to God and told God that I really was ok about not going to the conference if that was what God had planned for me. Immediately I was at peace with however He would work out the situation. The moment I surrendered my plans to God, an incredible peace came over me, the pain subsided and I was able to get restful, peaceful sleep.

The next day, I was feeling a lot better and over the next couple days I was back to normal again. I was able to attend the conference and get the needed CEU's. I believe with all my heart that I was able to recover from the kidney stones and attend the conference because I was finally able to surrender.

I am learning that I don't have to like what happens, I don't even have to understand what happens, but I DO need to trust God through what happens and He will work it all out in His amazing way and in such a way that He will get the glory! I want to give God the glory for His working in my heart through kidney stones to teach me about surrender.