How Do You Do That??

I have often been asked how, as a counselor, I am able to listen to all the hard things people have to share with me and yet keep my own sanity, and even with some people, keep my "cool". I have thought about this a lot, and have been able to identify several "perspectives" that have helped me cope with the challenges of being a counselor and even in my personal day-to-day life. Maybe these "perspectives" will be helpful to others as well.

First and foremost, I work very hard to remember that we are ALL created by God and are dearly loved by Him. Nothing we will ever do, can change the fact that God created us ALL and He dearly loves His creation. Because I am a follower of Christ, I am called to have and keep this perspective. Even those individuals who have done ugly things, are loved by God and their behaviors do not change the fact that they are a creation of God. I must also love them as a creation of God, not for what they do, but for who they are in God's sight.

Now, what about those ugly behaviors? God's Word tells us that we are to HATE sin, so those ugly things that people say and do, I also hate. I will never tell someone that sin is "OK" or "no big deal". Sin is sin! But. . .I must also be able to separate out the sin from the sinner. My understanding of Scripture is that only God can judge a person's heart, not me. I am not privy to the inner most thoughts of a person, God is. However, I, as a believer, am called to be able to discern good from evil. . . I must be able to recognize sin and call it what it is. . . .sin, wrong in God's eyes and mine.

Another perspective I work hard to maintain has to do with being patient with others. Many times clients don't show up for appointments because they forgot, misunderstood the appointment time, or simply didn't bother to call to let us know about a conflict or a change of mind about coming to the appointment. There is great temptation to become frustrated and even angry at during these times. Then I remember Jesus' words to the Jews who were about to stone the woman caught in adultery . . . ."Let him who has never sinned cast the first stone." If you will recall, NOBODY threw a stone at that woman because they all realized that they too had sinned, most likely none of that crowd had committed adultery, but everyone had sinned in some way. I work hard to remember that I too have forgotten appointments, or dropped the ball in communicating information to others, so I choose to show grace (giving something good that the other person doesn't deserve) to those people who don't show up for their appointments. This perspective applies to all situations, when I am tempted to give a harsh response to someone because of my own personal frustrations with that person, I am reminded by God that I too have sinned.

One final thing that I work to remember is that God knows what I need, what I can handle, and I trust Him with even my schedule. If someone doesn't show up for their appointment or cancels at the last minute, often I have something else pressing to fill the time. Maybe someone in crisis calls and I can see that person right away because of the time that has just opened up, I may have a report that needs to get written and the open time lets me get to that, or maybe I simply need a break for my own mental health. God knows, and again, I trust Him with my time and my schedule.

God is good all the time and I am striving to be more like Him every day. Taking His perspective has helped and will continue to help me deal with the challenges and stresses of my profession and my everyday life. I encourage us all to experience life through God's eyes and with His perspective.

Father, Son and Holy Who?

I am learning many things right now about the Holy Spirit that I never knew before. A couple of weeks ago we had a guest Pastor speak at our church. His topic was the Holy Spirit. A colleague and I are also reading the book, "Hearing God's Voice" by Henry and Richard Blackaby. This Pastor and this book have both put great focus and emphasis onto the Holy Spirit and I thought that I would share some of the new insights I have been given from these two sources.

The Pastor took us back into the old testament and read scripture that indicated that the Holy Spirit is a person, one of the trinity. . . Father, Son and Holy Spirit (Ghost ). The Blackabys write, "The Father is sovereign. He has designed a perfect will for His people. The Father planned for the atonement for sin through the redeeming act of the cross. The Son accomplished the Father's will when he took on physical form and was crucified for humanity's sin. The Son continues to intercede for people with the Father (1 John 2:1). The Spirit takes the will of the Father and the work of the Son and seeks to make them a reality in the believer's life."

I never thought of the Holy Spirit as being a person like God and Jesus, but He is. I also learned that, in the Old Testament, the Holy Spirit was given to people for specific tasks, often manifesting Himself in Godly wisdom, visions into the future and extraordinary strength, all things beyond human abilities. The Holy Spirit came and when the task was completed or the person disobeyed God, He left again or was taken away. King David was the only person in the Old Testament that was given the Holy Spirit at a particular point in his life and was with him for the remainder of his life.

In the New Testament, Jesus promised his followers God's continual presence through the Holy Spirit. When every believer makes their profession of faith in God the Father and Jesus Christ His holy Son, they are given the Holy Spirit to remain with them for the remainder of their lives. The Holy Spirit then does God's work in the lives of every believer. The Blackabys' book goes into great detail regarding the Spirit's work. I would strongly encourage everyone interested in learning about and understanding the Holy Spirit to read this book!

There are many more things that I am learning about the Holy Spirit, however I don't have the time/space to share everything. I do want to share two more things that have been very impactful to me having to do with our response to the Holy Spirit. Again, Blackabys' book identified 5 responses to the Holy Spirit. We can resist the Holy Spirit, Grieve the Holy Spirit (meaning actually causing pain to the Spirit with our sin), Quench the Spirit ( suppress or extinguish the work of the Spirit), Blaspheme the Holy Spirit (openly defying God's Spirit ), and finally be Filled by the Spirit ( living in cooperation and communion with the Holy Spirit, allowing God to move and work in and through us).

I believe that we need to do regular checks on our thoughts, attitudes, and choices to make sure that we are maintaining a good relationship with the Holy Spirit and keeping our heart pure in God's sight. I am really excited about the new insight that God is giving me about His Holy Spirit. I hope that you will do some study on your own to learn more about the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. It's exciting stuff!!

Ouch! That Hurt!

I have recently been challenged to take a close look at myself and much to my dismay, have found many areas that need growth. It is one thing to do a self-assessment and come to this understanding, but it is a whole other thing when we are on the outside and recognize the need to challenge another believer toward growth.

How do we go about challenging others toward growth? 1 Peter 3:15 says, "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect . . . ."

The phrase "with gentleness and respect" jumps out at me when I read this passage. My interpretation of this phrase is that we are to be kind to that person we are encouraging toward growth, speaking the truth in love, being careful with and caring for that person's physical, emotional and spiritual well being. We must remember that the goal is to help that individual draw near to, not shrink away from God.

Have you every been around someone who has beaten you up with the truth? They were not kind in their speaking of the truth. The truth is still the truth, however, the delivery of the truth makes all the difference. If I speak the truth harshly, the receiver will put up walls to protect himself and I will have lost the listening ear of that person. If I speak the truth out a heart of love and compassion, being kind and respectful, the receiver will feel safe to hear even hard truths, and be much more likely to accept and receive the message/truth and hopefully rise up and meet the challenge to grow.

So as we strive to fulfill the great commission and work to further God's kingdom, we need to be mindful of Jesus' example of speaking the truth in love and delivering the message in a kind and respectful way, "doing this with gentleness and respect."