How Do You Do That??

I have often been asked how, as a counselor, I am able to listen to all the hard things people have to share with me and yet keep my own sanity, and even with some people, keep my "cool". I have thought about this a lot, and have been able to identify several "perspectives" that have helped me cope with the challenges of being a counselor and even in my personal day-to-day life. Maybe these "perspectives" will be helpful to others as well.

First and foremost, I work very hard to remember that we are ALL created by God and are dearly loved by Him. Nothing we will ever do, can change the fact that God created us ALL and He dearly loves His creation. Because I am a follower of Christ, I am called to have and keep this perspective. Even those individuals who have done ugly things, are loved by God and their behaviors do not change the fact that they are a creation of God. I must also love them as a creation of God, not for what they do, but for who they are in God's sight.

Now, what about those ugly behaviors? God's Word tells us that we are to HATE sin, so those ugly things that people say and do, I also hate. I will never tell someone that sin is "OK" or "no big deal". Sin is sin! But. . .I must also be able to separate out the sin from the sinner. My understanding of Scripture is that only God can judge a person's heart, not me. I am not privy to the inner most thoughts of a person, God is. However, I, as a believer, am called to be able to discern good from evil. . . I must be able to recognize sin and call it what it is. . . .sin, wrong in God's eyes and mine.

Another perspective I work hard to maintain has to do with being patient with others. Many times clients don't show up for appointments because they forgot, misunderstood the appointment time, or simply didn't bother to call to let us know about a conflict or a change of mind about coming to the appointment. There is great temptation to become frustrated and even angry at during these times. Then I remember Jesus' words to the Jews who were about to stone the woman caught in adultery . . . ."Let him who has never sinned cast the first stone." If you will recall, NOBODY threw a stone at that woman because they all realized that they too had sinned, most likely none of that crowd had committed adultery, but everyone had sinned in some way. I work hard to remember that I too have forgotten appointments, or dropped the ball in communicating information to others, so I choose to show grace (giving something good that the other person doesn't deserve) to those people who don't show up for their appointments. This perspective applies to all situations, when I am tempted to give a harsh response to someone because of my own personal frustrations with that person, I am reminded by God that I too have sinned.

One final thing that I work to remember is that God knows what I need, what I can handle, and I trust Him with even my schedule. If someone doesn't show up for their appointment or cancels at the last minute, often I have something else pressing to fill the time. Maybe someone in crisis calls and I can see that person right away because of the time that has just opened up, I may have a report that needs to get written and the open time lets me get to that, or maybe I simply need a break for my own mental health. God knows, and again, I trust Him with my time and my schedule.

God is good all the time and I am striving to be more like Him every day. Taking His perspective has helped and will continue to help me deal with the challenges and stresses of my profession and my everyday life. I encourage us all to experience life through God's eyes and with His perspective.