Bearing One Another's Burdens

Scripture tells us as Christ-followers that we are to "bear one-another's burdens." This directive once again took on powerful meaning for me this past week! Last Thursday, when I got in to the H2H office for the day, one of the first things I did was listen to the messages on the H2H voice mail. The first message I heard was from a 9 year old client that I had worked with in the past begging me to call them back. They told me that they had just learned that their dad had died early that morning and they NEEDED to talk with me.

Of course I immediately returned that call. When that young one got on the phone, I could hear the pain and distress in their voice. At that moment, I physically felt the burden of their pain come on me. My heart felt SO heavy and it was all I could do to not cry right along with them. I simply did not have anything to say but "I am so very sorry!" They then started telling me their story of what had happened, how they found out, how they were feeling right then, and wanted to come to see me again sometime soon.

At the end of our conversation, I assured them that when they were ready to come visit with me, I would be available for them. I asked if I could pray for them and their family on the phone, and they said they would like that. I then proceeded to pray for God's comfort and peace to be with them all. At the end of our prayer time, this young one expressed appreciation for my prayer and said that it helped them to feel a little better right then.

This situation is just one of many times that I have experienced someone else's burden coming onto my heart. This is exactly what scripture calls us to do as believers. I want to encourage all Christ-followers to be open to bearing one-another's burdens. It is a very powerful, emotionally intense experience that is packed with blessings for everyone involved.

A Word of Thanks

The other day I had something very special happen to me. The mother of one of my very first H2H clients stopped by our office. It was about 10 years ago that I worked with the family. She said that she was in the area and wanted to stop by to say "thank you" for the work that I had done with her daughter who was 5 at the time.

She showed me a picture of her beautiful 15 year old daughter, who is now in high school and doing wonderful. Seeing this beautiful young lady brought tears to my eyes. She certainly is not that same scared little girl that I knew so many years ago!

The mom said that she guessed that our (counselors) job is probably a thankless job, receiving very little appreciation for what we do. She wanted to be sure that I knew how very much she and her husband appreciate, even 10 years later, the support they received through H2H back then.

I shared this experience with another H2H counselor and her comment to me was that, most likely, not even we realize the impact that we have on the lives of our clients. What a joy, privilege and responsibility we have when we get involved in the lives of hurting people.

This highlights the importance and again, responsibility that a counselor has; it is not something to be taken lightly! Praise God for working in the lives of His hurting people through the counseling ministry at H2H! He deserves and will get the glory for it all.

Growing Deeper & Deeper in Love

Have you ever taken the time to consider your love relationship with God, comparing the love you have for Him today with the love you had with Him the first day that you entered into relationship with Him. My devotions today challenged me to do just that, to make the comparison.

As I thought back to the very beginning of my relationship with God, some 33 years ago, I remember feeling very emotional, giddy, excited, energetic, wanting to tell the world about this new relationship. It was very fresh and exciting, filled with wonder and awe, much like the early years of relationship with my husband. I had no idea that my love could/would be any deeper than it was in those early days.

As the years have passed, some of the feelings are the same, but some are very different. Today as I think about my relationship with God I am no longer "giddy" and not nearly so emotional; I am not what I would call "energetic" in my love any more. At first glance, this relationship appears to have lost its sparkle and vitality, and seems to be somewhat bland.

My love relationship with God today has some very different qualities about it that have developed over time. Today, my love has very deep, strong roots giving it stability and strength. I have a quiet assurance/confidence that our (God's and my) love will be able to weather any storm that life throws my way. I have a deep inner peace in this relationship that was not present in the early days. I have grown into this peace as I have experienced God's love and involvement in my life over the years and we have walked through many life storms.

My passion for God is lived out very differently than in those early days. At first glance, some might say that I have lost my passion for God but I believe that my love for God is deeper now than it ever has been. Just like my love for my husband is deeper today than it was on the day we were married. My prayer for every believer is that we all can honestly say that our love for God is deeper today than even on the day that we claimed Him as our own personal Lord and Savior. In this, time is our "friend"! God Bless!

A Faith Adventure

H2H recently celebrated 10 years of ministry. What an amazing ride this has been watching God FAITHFULLY provide for His work at H2H! We had an anniversary celebration event, that historically has been a fundraising effort. This year, because of the anniversary, we decided to forgo the fundraising focus and focus on celebrating God and His work in and through H2H.

This decision was kind of a scary one because H2H's financial situation was very critical and was at an all-time low. But, we simply wanted to honor God and to trust Him to provide in other ways apart from this event. Just a few short days after this decision was made, God began blessing us with significant financial gifts.

I am keeping a journal right now and I want to share some of the recent entries to show you how I have been experiencing God moving in my heart and in H2H. Please sit back and enjoy the ride.

July 9th: "Often times it is a heavy burden I carry leading H2H. Today's scripture, 2 Kings 2:9 reminds me that H2H is God's work and He will/is providing for it! Even if I were not here, God would provide new leadership that would be better than me. I don't need to worry about H2H's future, God has it all taken care of and even now is preparing the next "generation" of leadership for H2H. I trust (confident assurance) that H2H will continue to grow stronger and stronger as the years pass by. NOT because of me, but because of God's divine plan!"

August 5th: "Today I acknowledge out loud that God is and will be faithful to His promises to me personally. I don't know in what form the fulfillment of His promises will come, I just know they will come. When all else fails, I choose to stand on what I KNOW to be true. . . .God will keep His promises. " (Little did I know that God would bless H2H ththis very day!)

August 6th: "Yesterday God rained down blessings on H2H! Praise God! Thank You God! We received over $2,800 from a local church! It was so very unexpected. It is purely God moving and showing His faithfulness to me, His child, and to H2H, His ministry. I wish there were words to express how very loved by God I feel right now, but there aren't. I want to thank God for this wonderful blessing and to thank the church for being sensitive to God's leading! Thank You God!"

On August 28th, we had the anniversary celebration and it was a wonderful success! Approximately 100 people attended and we were very blessed that night!

September 9th: "H2H received a significant gift from an area church. I believe that this and several other gifts have come because of our recent 10 year anniversary celebration. Historically this event has been a fundraising effort but this year we were led to forgo the fundraising focus and simple praise the Lord for His goodness and blessing over the past 10 years. We received financial blessing during that event and the blessings still keep coming! This is so meaningful especially since H2H was struggling financially all summer. God's timing is perfect and I thank Him and Praise Him for it!"

I want to share these portions of my journal with you so that you can witness through me how God has been working in my heart and in and through H2H. My faith adventure is just that. . . an adventure full of fun, excitement, wonder, anxious times, drama and surprises all wrapped up in one big package. God is the most beautiful "ribbon and bow" decorating the package, holding it all together and making it ever so beautiful.

Over and over again, God just continues to demonstrate His love for me, for His ministry we call H2H, and for the people we serve through H2H. Praise God!

Slow, But Learning!

I was reminded by a client recently that learning, even very slow learning, is still learning! In my counseling ministry I always challenge growth and hope to see big growth quickly so that the person starts feeling better fast. But. . . .quickly is not always how God works His plans out.

I have been working with this person for approximately 6 months now and it feels like we talk about the same things over and over again at each session. Recently this person told me that they (and others) are beginning to see change in their life because they are continually remembering the things we have been talking about and the challenges to change attitudes and behaviors I have been giving them. They are making conscious efforts to make those changes. They are feeling encouraged by their own growth, even if it is very slow. Praise the Lord for this growth!

I also very recently had the opportunity to teach a God principle to one of my kids. They were very open to receive the teaching and indicated that they understood the principle. I long to see growth in my child in this area. It may not be manifested on the outside for a while, but I have confidence that the lesson will be resounding on the inside. I prefer to have growth taking place on the inside where the roots will grow deep, and patiently wait for the evidence of the growth on the outside.

Much like the parable of the sower in the Bible, this client and my child both have fertile soil where the roots are growing deep. I know in my heart that there will be a wonderful harvest in these two individuals in God's perfect time. I simply want them to take the time to experience life-long, deep, lasting growth and change, not simply a quick fix for a short time.

I pray that God will watch over them, protect them, and nurture them as they each grow into a solid faith-walk with Him!

Honor thy father and mother

As a counselor, I have often been challenged to understand the meaning of God's command in Exodus 20:12, "Honor thy father and mother." Over the course of my career, I have worked with very dysfunctional families, abusive (emotionally, physically, sexually, even spiritually) parents, and also the children (adults and youth) of abusive parents. In these families there have been deep wounds inflicted, sometimes by accident, sometimes by intent.

For those who have received deep wounds from their parents, the following question often arises, "How can I and why should I honor my parents who have hurt me so deeply?" The greater question is, "How can I honor those people who have hurt me without saying that what they did was ok?" These are valid questions that need to be answered, and in order to do so, we need to understand exactly what God means by "honor".

Many times throughout scripture we are commanded to love our enemy and in abusive situations, the abuser is seen as the enemy. The next question is "how can I 'love' my enemy, the person(s) who hurt me so deeply, and not hold them accountable for what they have done to me?"

1 Corinthians 13 explains how we are to love even our enemies. The love described here is not an emotional, "mushy", romantic kind of love, but a respectful, honoring kind of love. This passage tells us to be patient, and kind, which has nothing to do with emotions or feelings; we are not to be envious, or boastful, rude, self-seeking or easily angered, again having nothing to do with feelings; we are to keep no record of wrongs. We are not to delight in evil, even when we think the other person deserves what they get.

Given all of this information, how are we to honor our parents, even those who have inflicted great wounds? We simply live out 1 Corinthians 13. We show respect, which has nothing to do with how others treat us, but everything to do with how we choose to treat others.

No parent does everything right and some do many things terribly wrong. No matter which experience we have had with our parents, good or bad, we are commanded by God to love and honor our parents. We cannot change the past, what is done is done, but we can change the future by how we respond in the present. As believers, we live out God's command by being kind, patient and respectful in every way to everyone we come in contact with, including those who have hurt us, because our behavior is a reflection of who we are in Christ, not who the other person is or what they have done to us.

I pray that we will diligently look for ways to honor our parents and in so doing, we will honor God, our Heavenly Father.

Seasons of Parenting - Part II

I had a very interesting,yet startling conversation with my young adult daughter the other day. She had called to talk about some major decisions that she was needing to make and wanted to process with me and seek my counsel.

She now has a very special someone in her life and they are discussing long-term commitments to one another. After she shared with me some new opportunities opening up for her, I asked her if she had talked to her special someone about all of this. She said it had not occurred to her to discuss these things with him. She has become so accustomed to talking with dear 'ol mom and needing to make decisions on her own that it never crossed her mind to her to get his input on these things too.

I reminded her that, of course she is ALWAYS welcome to talk with me about whatever is on her heart, because this young man is filling a very important role in her life now too, it will be important to include him in these life decisions. I encouraged her to seek his counsel and to place value on what he thinks, consider his thoughts/feelings and her own as she makes her decisions. The final decision is hers to make, but seeking wise, Godly counsel from important people in her life is always a right thing to do.

The final thought that I left her with was that, now that this young man is very seriously in her life, it will be important for her to value his opinion even more than mine because these life decisions have great potential to impact their relationship very profoundly, I am simply a bystander and our relationship (my daughter's and mine) will remain the same no matter what the final outcome is.

When these words came out of my mouth, I questioned what I had just done. . . .redirected my daughter to someone else before me! It did not feel good, but it felt very right. Even though my daughter is not engaged or married yet, I was being led by the spirit to begin teaching my daughter how to be a Godly wife, seeking her husband's counsel even before her mother's. Scripture tells us in Genesis 2:24-25 that "For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." This leaving the parents applies to the woman as well.

As a counselor, I cannot tell you the number of couples that I have counseled that had very difficult marital issues stemming from one or the other spouse being connected with their mother in unhealthy ways, putting the mother before even their spouse.

I love my daughter very much and I long to be there for her always, but there will soon come a time when her husband will take precedence over me, and that is as it should be. I have confidence that no one will ever be able to take my place in her life, and I must be willing to surrender my #2 position to her husband as God ordained.

I know that she is in good hands, those of her Heavenly Father and those of her special someone. Just as she is making room for him in her life, I am choosing to make room for him in mine as well. I pray for God's richest blessings on their budding relationship and am asking God to help them establish a healthy, loving relationship for God first, then one another, then for mom and dad and everyone else.

This is yet another season in my life as a parent. It is exciting, yet somewhat painful to see my blessed children growing up, finding their life partners, and starting to have their own families. I am learning my new role in their lives and am nestling in. Life is good!

God Is So Good!

I have so many things to write about today. . . .but so little time! I made a promise to the Lord a long time ago that when I wanted to brag, I would brag about the things He is doing, not the things I am doing. Whenever I saw God moving in and through H2H I would give Him all the honor, glory and praise, because He is the only one who truly deserves it. Today I want/need to do some bragging about my God.

For the last several months, I have been beseeching God to provide for His ministry at H2H. I waited and waited and waited, but saw our needs continuing to grow. I was becoming increasingly impatient, frustrated and quite frankly scared. I knew that God was hearing my prayers, but wasn't quite sure why I wasn't seeing the financial deliverance I felt that we needed. I was encouraged to hang in there because every now and then I would see small things that gave me encouragement and hope, but no answers of deliverance. . . .until yesterday!

Yesterday morning during my quiet time, I wrote in my daily journal very simply that I am choosing to believe God's promises, with or without seeing answers to my prayers. I will stand on God's promises in His word, because that is where my hope (blessed assurance) is. The journal entry was very short and to the point.

I got to the office and went to pick up the mail. Lo and behold, there was an envelope in the mail from an area church that has had limited involvement with H2H. When I opened the envelope I was STUNNED at what I saw. There was a check for over $2,700 written to H2H with a letter of explanation. The church has made a commitment to the Lord to periodically do an assessment of their financial needs compared to their income. They have pledged to give 100% of the "profit" to three types of ministries, local, global, and ministries that serve disasters. H2H was identified as being the local ministry to receive a portion of their "profit".

It is easy to be thankful for the church, but first and foremost, I want to thank God for this AMAZING blessing! He was the one who moved in the hearts of those who were responsible for making the decisions about who the recipients would be. All praise and glory and honor go to God first. Next, I am very thankful to those leaders and the church for being sensitive to the Lord's leading and prompting in this matter and for making this donation to H2H.

God is so good and worthy of our praise! When we have God-sized needs (and we did), God shows up with God-sized answers to those needs (and He did)! Praise the Lord!!

Adrenaline & Worship?

For my professional credentials, I am required to earn 30 continuing education credits each year. This year I have chosen to take a 30 hour class on addictions to meet this requirement. I just completed a section on adrenaline addiction. The presenter, Archibald Hart, Ph.D., discussed the physiological purpose for adrenaline (to deal with emergencies, for short-term use), what triggers the body to produce adrenaline (high risk activities, stimulating games/activities, danger etc.) and how our own bodies become addicted to this chemical through craving the feel-good experience we get during the adrenaline rush.

In his presentation, Dr. Hart shared some very interesting thoughts regarding worship and adrenaline. He stated that "spirituality should not be adrenaline or excitement driven. Worship should offer peacefulness." He cautioned believers to be careful about the design of the worship experience, that it be driven by peace as opposed to being driven by excitement, which produces adrenaline.

It is important to understand that the chemical adrenaline itself "gives a heightened sense of well-being which can be misleading". With this in mind, it is understandable why people like excitement in their worship experience, because this excitement does produce adrenaline, which feels very good. However, it behooves us to evaluate where the sense of well-being is coming from, our worship of our heavenly Father, or from the effects of the adrenaline produced by our own human bodies during the worship experience.

The key question seems to be this. . . . .does our worship produce peace or an adrenaline rush that feels good? Dr. Hart encouraged us to manage (take control of) our own adrenaline, to work to enhance peacefulness (especially in our spiritual experience), incorporate healthy physical changes, work to learn how to let go of things/activities/feelings of being responsible for EVERYONE, etc.

What I am hearing from Dr. Hart is that we need more peace in every aspect of our life, especially during our spiritual worship experience. We must seek after the peace that passes all understanding comes from God alone.

Seasons of Life

Have you ever noticed that different aspects of life have their own "seasons"? This has just occurred to me! Our family's life has transitioned into a new season very recently. My husband and I have just became grandparents to the most beautiful little girl in our world. (I think that most if not all grandparents claim that their grand babies are the most beautiful babies in the world.) This is most definitely a new and wonderful season of family life for us.

My role as a daughter has also transitioned into a new season. My mother is aging and I am transitioning from being her child to becoming her caregiver. I am starting to parent my parent. This is a most befuddling and weird season of life that most children experience at some point with their parents. This phenomenon happens for many reasons, i.e. when parents age, health issues develop, tragedy strikes, etc.

My family's financial situation has it's own "seasons". We currently are in a season of "financial drought", when finances are very tight. Many families are in this same situation because of the current economic climate. This season has the great potential to be very frightening and discouraging if we do not keep our eyes on God and His provision.

My career, relationships with my husband, children, parents, and friends have also gone through seasons. The one thing that I have learned about seasons is that they change! There is a definite beginning and end to each season. Some seasons I would love to have stay the same forever, but don't and some I hope and pray will pass quickly, sometimes they do and sometimes they don't.

Even though our finances are in distress, I am finding great joy in my new granddaughter. Even though I am becoming a caregiver for my mom (of which is a huge honor in spite of the challenges), I am loving being a parent to wonderful young adult children.

The moral of this blog is this, if one part of your life is in a difficult season, look at other parts of your life. You may find that other parts are in fun, good seasons and you will find great encouragement from them. Be careful to NOT allow your focus to be soley on the hard seasons, find joy in the good seasons as well, for this is a choice that we all have. It does take concerted effort at times to find areas of our lives that are in a good season, but they are there. If you look, you will find them!

Hello to all you readers! Sorry it has been so long since my last post, life has been very interesting in my world. The Lord has been teaching me new things and has been reminding me of lessons I have experienced in the past and reminding/challenging me to use what I have learned from them.

The lesson that I have been reminded of most recently has been to live life in a way so that I will have no regrets. This lesson has been in the context of relationships. At the present time, some of my family members are experienced some significant health/life events that are indicating that they would benefit from having support for a time.

Because of these situations and needing to determine what my role needs to be in them, I have been challenged to evaluate what my priorities are. In order to do so, I have gone back to scripture and looked at what God's priority scale is. In His Word, I am told that God is to be #1 in my life, then comes my spouse, then the rest of my family, then everything else. I am told to honor my parents, love my children, to follow the call of Christ, etc.

Reviewing God's priority scale has been very helpful to me as I determine how to respond to the needs of my family.

Next, I have gone back to the time when my dad's health was failing and we knew that his earthly life was coming to an end. My whole family talked a lot during those days/months and we all agreed that we each needed to respond to that situation in ways that would not cause regrets after dad was gone.

Everyone responded differently based on where each person was emotionally, spiritually and relationally with dad. We all made efforts to not place expectations on the others or try to determine other people's priorities for them. Our motto at that time was "No regrets". We all experienced love and support from one another and peace during those difficult and dark days because we each responded in our own ways so that we did not have regrets after dad passed away.

As I have been responding to the situations that have popped up in my life, I have worked to follow God's priority scale and to respond in ways so that I will have no regrets later. This has brought me great peace in difficult situations and joy in other situations. I have experienced great freedom in my responses because of taking this approach.

For those of you who are walking through difficult or hectic seasons of your lives, I encourage you to set your own priorities based on God's Word and respond in a way that there will be "No Regrets".

God Bless!

How Do You Do That??

I have often been asked how, as a counselor, I am able to listen to all the hard things people have to share with me and yet keep my own sanity, and even with some people, keep my "cool". I have thought about this a lot, and have been able to identify several "perspectives" that have helped me cope with the challenges of being a counselor and even in my personal day-to-day life. Maybe these "perspectives" will be helpful to others as well.

First and foremost, I work very hard to remember that we are ALL created by God and are dearly loved by Him. Nothing we will ever do, can change the fact that God created us ALL and He dearly loves His creation. Because I am a follower of Christ, I am called to have and keep this perspective. Even those individuals who have done ugly things, are loved by God and their behaviors do not change the fact that they are a creation of God. I must also love them as a creation of God, not for what they do, but for who they are in God's sight.

Now, what about those ugly behaviors? God's Word tells us that we are to HATE sin, so those ugly things that people say and do, I also hate. I will never tell someone that sin is "OK" or "no big deal". Sin is sin! But. . .I must also be able to separate out the sin from the sinner. My understanding of Scripture is that only God can judge a person's heart, not me. I am not privy to the inner most thoughts of a person, God is. However, I, as a believer, am called to be able to discern good from evil. . . I must be able to recognize sin and call it what it is. . . .sin, wrong in God's eyes and mine.

Another perspective I work hard to maintain has to do with being patient with others. Many times clients don't show up for appointments because they forgot, misunderstood the appointment time, or simply didn't bother to call to let us know about a conflict or a change of mind about coming to the appointment. There is great temptation to become frustrated and even angry at during these times. Then I remember Jesus' words to the Jews who were about to stone the woman caught in adultery . . . ."Let him who has never sinned cast the first stone." If you will recall, NOBODY threw a stone at that woman because they all realized that they too had sinned, most likely none of that crowd had committed adultery, but everyone had sinned in some way. I work hard to remember that I too have forgotten appointments, or dropped the ball in communicating information to others, so I choose to show grace (giving something good that the other person doesn't deserve) to those people who don't show up for their appointments. This perspective applies to all situations, when I am tempted to give a harsh response to someone because of my own personal frustrations with that person, I am reminded by God that I too have sinned.

One final thing that I work to remember is that God knows what I need, what I can handle, and I trust Him with even my schedule. If someone doesn't show up for their appointment or cancels at the last minute, often I have something else pressing to fill the time. Maybe someone in crisis calls and I can see that person right away because of the time that has just opened up, I may have a report that needs to get written and the open time lets me get to that, or maybe I simply need a break for my own mental health. God knows, and again, I trust Him with my time and my schedule.

God is good all the time and I am striving to be more like Him every day. Taking His perspective has helped and will continue to help me deal with the challenges and stresses of my profession and my everyday life. I encourage us all to experience life through God's eyes and with His perspective.

Father, Son and Holy Who?

I am learning many things right now about the Holy Spirit that I never knew before. A couple of weeks ago we had a guest Pastor speak at our church. His topic was the Holy Spirit. A colleague and I are also reading the book, "Hearing God's Voice" by Henry and Richard Blackaby. This Pastor and this book have both put great focus and emphasis onto the Holy Spirit and I thought that I would share some of the new insights I have been given from these two sources.

The Pastor took us back into the old testament and read scripture that indicated that the Holy Spirit is a person, one of the trinity. . . Father, Son and Holy Spirit (Ghost ). The Blackabys write, "The Father is sovereign. He has designed a perfect will for His people. The Father planned for the atonement for sin through the redeeming act of the cross. The Son accomplished the Father's will when he took on physical form and was crucified for humanity's sin. The Son continues to intercede for people with the Father (1 John 2:1). The Spirit takes the will of the Father and the work of the Son and seeks to make them a reality in the believer's life."

I never thought of the Holy Spirit as being a person like God and Jesus, but He is. I also learned that, in the Old Testament, the Holy Spirit was given to people for specific tasks, often manifesting Himself in Godly wisdom, visions into the future and extraordinary strength, all things beyond human abilities. The Holy Spirit came and when the task was completed or the person disobeyed God, He left again or was taken away. King David was the only person in the Old Testament that was given the Holy Spirit at a particular point in his life and was with him for the remainder of his life.

In the New Testament, Jesus promised his followers God's continual presence through the Holy Spirit. When every believer makes their profession of faith in God the Father and Jesus Christ His holy Son, they are given the Holy Spirit to remain with them for the remainder of their lives. The Holy Spirit then does God's work in the lives of every believer. The Blackabys' book goes into great detail regarding the Spirit's work. I would strongly encourage everyone interested in learning about and understanding the Holy Spirit to read this book!

There are many more things that I am learning about the Holy Spirit, however I don't have the time/space to share everything. I do want to share two more things that have been very impactful to me having to do with our response to the Holy Spirit. Again, Blackabys' book identified 5 responses to the Holy Spirit. We can resist the Holy Spirit, Grieve the Holy Spirit (meaning actually causing pain to the Spirit with our sin), Quench the Spirit ( suppress or extinguish the work of the Spirit), Blaspheme the Holy Spirit (openly defying God's Spirit ), and finally be Filled by the Spirit ( living in cooperation and communion with the Holy Spirit, allowing God to move and work in and through us).

I believe that we need to do regular checks on our thoughts, attitudes, and choices to make sure that we are maintaining a good relationship with the Holy Spirit and keeping our heart pure in God's sight. I am really excited about the new insight that God is giving me about His Holy Spirit. I hope that you will do some study on your own to learn more about the third person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. It's exciting stuff!!

Ouch! That Hurt!

I have recently been challenged to take a close look at myself and much to my dismay, have found many areas that need growth. It is one thing to do a self-assessment and come to this understanding, but it is a whole other thing when we are on the outside and recognize the need to challenge another believer toward growth.

How do we go about challenging others toward growth? 1 Peter 3:15 says, "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect . . . ."

The phrase "with gentleness and respect" jumps out at me when I read this passage. My interpretation of this phrase is that we are to be kind to that person we are encouraging toward growth, speaking the truth in love, being careful with and caring for that person's physical, emotional and spiritual well being. We must remember that the goal is to help that individual draw near to, not shrink away from God.

Have you every been around someone who has beaten you up with the truth? They were not kind in their speaking of the truth. The truth is still the truth, however, the delivery of the truth makes all the difference. If I speak the truth harshly, the receiver will put up walls to protect himself and I will have lost the listening ear of that person. If I speak the truth out a heart of love and compassion, being kind and respectful, the receiver will feel safe to hear even hard truths, and be much more likely to accept and receive the message/truth and hopefully rise up and meet the challenge to grow.

So as we strive to fulfill the great commission and work to further God's kingdom, we need to be mindful of Jesus' example of speaking the truth in love and delivering the message in a kind and respectful way, "doing this with gentleness and respect."

What do you think?

I think that we all need feedback from others. I know that I do! It is hard to open ourselves up to others and then have to wonder what they are thinking. We wonder if they agreed with our perspective, if we did a good job or not, if there are things that we need to do differently or better, etc..

Without feedback, we are simply left to wonder. I am kind of feeling this way about my blogging. I know that there are people reading my blogs, but I have gotten very little feedback from those readers. I want to invite you to share your comments/thoughts with me. The Bible says that "iron sharpens iron" and I believe that I can grow through receiving your thoughts and comments.

Yes, there are times that we are going to need to "lovingly agree to disagree" on issues, but even those times can be times of growth as well, so don't be afraid to share your honest thoughts with me. I want to grow in my understanding of and faith in God and in life matters in general. I invite you to help sharpen me through your feedback. I would ask that we all be respectful of one another because the Bible also says that the "tongue is like a double edged sword" and can cut very deeply if not used in love.

Thank you for reading this blog and thank you in advance for your willingness to share your thoughts with me. God Bless!

Speak Up God, I Can't Hear You!

Have you ever had a genuine need, not a want but a real need, that only God could deal with? You prayed and prayed, but God remained silent and you began to doubt God's ability or even willingness to provide for that need. Did you ask God why He was being silent?

I had such a situation recently. I had a HUGE (from my perspective) need and I longed to receive a quick answer from God so that I would feel better and be able to give Him the glory for the way He provided. Unfortunately God was silent for quite awhile. During my waiting time, I looked for signs that God was still there and still loved me because I was feeling very alone and wondering if anybody loved me.

My special love gifts from God are gold finches. I looked out at my finch feeder in my back yard many times each day and there was not one of those beautiful little finches that would be a sign of God's love for me. I needed that reassurance that He still loved me. I began to ask God where He was and why he was being silent for so long.

The answer came to me this past weekend. God was being quiet because He needed me to recognize an area in my life that I needed to grow in. It was a difficult revelation to me in an area that I had thought that I was doing pretty good in overall. With brilliant clarity, God showed me that I needed to address some unhealthy attitudes that had crept into my heart. I was shocked at what I saw and confessed it right away and promised the Lord that I was going to start working on them immediately.

When I started watching for these negative attitudes, I realized that they were manifesting themselves in a lot of areas. Again, I was shocked at how ingrained they had become in my life. After that revelation and my commitment and work to start changing those unhealthy/displeasing attitudes, guess what I saw in my back yard. . . .gold finches! I am also seeing God showing up in amazing ways and meeting those HUGE needs that have been unmet for far longer than I would have liked.

I was wanting my own comfort rather than God's perfect timing of His provision. This was pretty selfish of me and that is exactly the issue God needed me to recognize and get control over, selfishness! I am actively and intentionally working on my selfishness and it is hard work, but very important!

I am NOT saying that God's silence is always in response to sin in our lives, otherwise He would always be silent because we are all sinful creatures and our very nature is sinful. I am also NOT saying that God was withholding His love for me because I did not see the gold finches. What I am saying is that in my case, He wanted and needed to reveal my sin to me and His silence helped me to be able to recognize it. I am now thankful for God's silence, and even more thankful for the restoration of our relationship. I LOVE to hear God's voice and long to see Him moving in my life every day!

A Question to make you say, "Hummmm"

Have you ever had questions that came to your mind that made you say, "hummmmm"? I had one such question recently. The question was this . . . . "Are there things that make God sad that are not sin?"

Recently I have been pondering this question and went to ask a pastor friend of mine for his thoughts. He shared (from my perspective) a very profound thought. He said he believes that "there are lots of things that make God sad that are on the way to sin." Decisions that may not be sin yet but lead the way to sin make God sad.

For example, when we start spending more time on other things than we do spending time being connected to God makes Him sad. Even putting ministry ahead of time with God makes Him sad. We can get so busy and focused on ministering to others in God's name and lose our own personal connectedness with God. This would make God sad.

On the other side of the spectrum, if I am spending so much time deepening my own relationship with God that I neglect to minister to others, this too makes God sad. We can become so "Heavenly minded that we are no earthly good." There needs to be a balance of being attentive to deepening my own personal relationship and being an ambassador for Christ through ministry to or in relationship with others.

The challenge then seems to be to make decisions based on how they will impact my relationship with God and further God's kingdom. I challenge each of us to prayerfully consider if our actions, choices, and decisions might make God sad and work to turn things around before they lead to sin.

Who's My Neighbor?

One of my biggest pet peeves is to be honked at or gestured at by other drivers on the road. Recently, while I was driving through the Walmart parking lot, I was honked at and shaken a fist at by two different people. Now I am NOT that bad of a driver and am very cautious especially driving through parking areas. So what was the deal??

It seems that people are becoming very impatient and not using good manners and being kind to on another. This has gotten me to thinking about the Bible commanding us to love our neighbor, and how we go about doing that.

First of all, who is our neighbor? In Luke 10:30-37, Jesus addresses this question through His parable of the Good Samaritan. We see through Jesus' teachings that being a "neighbor" had nothing to do with living in close proximity, having commonality in nationality, gender, vocation or any other factor. Very simply, our neighbors are those people we are in contact with, whether in our home, in our community, in our work place, on the city streets or on country roads, etc.

The next question is, how do we love our neighbor? Once again, we go to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. God's word tells us that love is patient, kind, does not envy, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. We are to live out our love through demonstrating these types of behaviors or using good "manners".

So, long story short, we as believers are to love our neighbors (anyone we come in contact with in any circumstances) by being patient, kind, etc. As we walk through our day today, I also encourage you to put great effort into loving your neighbor, even when they pull out in front of you on the road (use your breaks), but in front of you in the grocery line, honk their horn at you or shake their fist at you or respond to you in other harsh or rude ways.

It is very apparent from scripture that God does expect us as believers to use good manners and ti love our neighbors. We should not expect nonbelievers to live out this directive to love their neighbors, but we should expect all believers to love their neighbors in this way for this is what we are commanded by our Lord Jesus to do. We please and honor God when we faithfully demonstrate love to our our neighbors in this lost world.

Love Is . . . .

As a counselor, I have worked with many couples over the years that were on the brink of divorce. The first thing I ask them is, "Do you love one another?" Most often times they say yes, and then my next question is, "What is love?" I have not met a couple in distress yet who were able to accurately answer this question.


So, what is love? Some say that it is a tingly feeling or butterflies in your stomach feeling when you are around the one that you love. Most people simply don't have an answer to this question because they have never given it serious thought or been asked to put into words exactly what love is.


To get the true answer to the question, "What is love?", we need to look into God's word to find out for He is the creator of love so He should/would know. The foundation for a Godly, happy marriage is having a love relationship with God first, and then with one another.

God explains exactly what love is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I challenge these hurting couples to do a self-assessment of their personal love and the assessment goes like this:

Vs. 4: Love is patient - Am I patient with the person I say that I love? Love is kind - Am I kind to the person I say that I love? It does not envy - "I wish that I could sit around the house all day eating bon-bons." It does not boast - "Look at how good I am doing at taking care of you." It is not proud - "I am being a better spouse than you are by far!"

Vs. 5: It is not rude - Have I been rude to the person that I say that I love? It is not self-seeking - "I want what I want because I want it." It is not easily angered - Do I get angry easily with that that person that I say that I love? It keeps no record of wrongs - "I remember 3 months ago when you did . . . . ."

Vs. 6: Love does not delight in evil - "I'm glad you stubbed your toe, you made me mad." But rejoices with the truth - Am I thankful that my spouse trusts me and our relationship enough to tell me even this hard truth to help me grow?

Vs. 7: It always protects - Am I putting safeguards in place to protect my relationship with my loved one? Always trusts - Am I trusting this person that I say that I love? Always hopes - Am I hopeful that my relationship with this person that I say that I love will grow? Always perseveres - Am I willing to keep trying to live out my love and never give up loving that person that I say that I love?

Vs. 8: Love never fails . . . .

In my world as a counselor, talk is cheap. People can say whatever they want you to believe, but if those words are not followed up by actions, they mean nothing! Always remember that love is NOT a feeling, it is action!

There may be days when husbands and wives don't like each other very much, but you can always love one another if you follow the directions given in this passage of scripture.

I want to encourage every husband and wife to visit 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 often and evaluate how you are doing at living out your love to your spouse by living out your love. Some days you will be doing well in some areas, but recognize you need to put a little more effort into other areas.

When you recognize, with God's help, that you can grow in particular areas, I want to encourage you to put more effort into those areas and watch your love grow. Marriage takes work and commitment on both people's parts. When you put time and effort into your love relationship, God will not only bless your efforts in living out your love, but He will also bless your marriage!

God Bless you all as you live out your love to those significant people in your lives!

Love Never Fails

As a counselor, I work with many hurting couples who are on the brink of divorce. Almost always, I spend a session talking about 1 Corinthians 13, more commonly known as the "love" chapter. In this passage, we receive instruction on how to live out our love to those we say we love.

This past week, God has impressed on me another perspective/meaning for verse 8 of chapter 13. I also work with people who are grieving loss. . . of loved ones, of jobs, of financial security, and the list goes on and on. The first part of verse 8 says "Love never fails. . . ." I was reminded that the love we have for those who pass away also never fails. It serves to sustain us through those dark days of loss and keep us afloat when we are about to be overcome by waives of pain and grief. The love we have for our dear departed serves as our life boat. . . that never fails.

I recently met with two little girls whose step father passed away very suddenly and I shared this passage with them and explained that their love for the step-father will never die and it will carry them through their deep grief and despair. . . because the Bible tells us that "love never fails". They both found comfort in these words and I am trusting that God's Word will carry them through their pain and loss.

We live our love out to others and the love we have carries us through all of life's difficult challenges. Truly, "love never fails"!

For Such A Time As This

Recently, the Lord and I have been having some very difficult conversations regarding the financial needs of His ministry at Heart To Heart Support Services. As scripture tells us to do, I have been seeking and beseeching God regarding the financial needs that are very big right now. I KNOW that God is my Provider, my Strength, my Courage, my Help in Present Danger, and the list goes on. I have been lifting up the needs that we have, and yet I have not seen God provide in significant ways. . .YET.

I have found myself becoming frustrated and if the truth is told, a bit aggravated with God for His slow response to our immediate needs. Then the other day, I was having my daily devotions. The theme of the devotion was that I have a relationship with God for even a time such as this. God spoke mightily to me through the writer of this devotion! He reminded me that yes, He is my Provider and all the other names we see given to Him in scripture, but, not only that, He is my friend who is walking with me through even this difficult time.

See, I was wanting and expecting God to be my Deliverer from these distressing circumstances, and He will do that in His perfect time, but I needed (unknown to me at the time) Him to be my Friend and walk hand in hand with me through this lean season. When that understanding sunk into my thick brain, I began to have peace in the midst of the circumstances, even though they have not changed yet. That peace is what I was truly needing and longing for.

Praise God for the wise writers of Our Daily Bread who have been instruments of God to speak to my troubled heart on so many occasions! Thank You God for your unfailing love and patience with me as I stumble along on my life's journey!

Self-Care

Hello Again,

Guess what! It's spring!! This is my favorite season of the year and I get so excited about the promise of warmer weather, spring flowers, the robins coming back, gold finches with their vibrant yellow colors flitting around in my back yard, seeing new calves in the pastures, even the hope of seeing a calf being born in a roadside pasture, and so much more.

I am also being more motivated to get outside and enjoy all that spring has to offer. Today my office co-workers and I all went for a walk around town to get a breath of fresh air. At first I felt very guilty about not staying in the office and working, but as we were walking, I realized that my spirits were being lifted, my brain felt much clearer, and I was excited and motivated to get back to the office and get back to my "business tasks".

Being a counselor, I should appreciate the personal benefits of self-care, but my husband Rob will tell you that I am usually the last person I take care of. I am very quick to encourage my clients to take good care of themselves, but again, I am very slow to follow my own advice.

I want you to notice the word that I used earlier, "guilty". I think that we often neglect our own personal needs because of a false sense of guilt. . . .that I am doing something that I shouldn't be doing when I take time out for me.

When we consider Jesus' example in scripture, we see that even Jesus, on many occasions, went off by himself to rest. He took time to pray and talk to God, and even spend time with his special friends, his disciples. This was never more evident than during the time just before the Crucifixion when He took time away to have His last supper with His beloved disciples. They had a very quiet, intimate meal together. Jesus took this last opportunity to fellowship with and encourage and teach them.

Shortly after the meal, we read in Luke 22:39 that "Jesus went to the Mount of Olives, as He was accustomed and His disciples also followed." Jesus knew that He was facing some dramatic, traumatic events and he took time to be by Himself, to be in fellowship with His Father and prepare to face His future.

If Jesus not only recognized, but also acted on, the importance of self care, shouldn't we?? There was no "wrongdoing" when Jesus stepped away to take care of Himself and there is no "wrongdoing" when we do the same. My personal goal is going to be to make every effort to take a little time out of my day (even my work day) and do some self-care. I want to encourage you to do the same. Let's all get out and "smell the roses, daffodils, tulips" or whatever flower is blooming in season. Our souls too will be restored to face what is ahead of us.

God Bless, and have a blessed Easter season!

In Our Own Back Yard

I recently had a bit of a disturbing conversation with someone regarding local charity needs as compared to world-wide charity needs. As you know, I am the executive director of a small, but growing, not-for-profit organization. I was sharing with this individual that from my perspective it is absolutely appropriate to ask and even encourage people outside of our ministry service area to join with us in helping to raise support for this ministry. I reminded this individual that people from all over the world were sending millions of dollars to help with the relief in Haiti, and the principle (from my perspective) is the same. This individual held the perspective that these to situations are not the same.

As I have thought and prayed more about that conversation, my resolve about this issue has become even stronger. It is very easy to recognize and see the dramatic needs present after a natural disaster like the earthquake in Haiti and develop a passion to come to their aid and yet overlook the immediate needs right in our own back yards. I don't in any way mean to minimize the needs of those dear people, because their situation is very critical, I am saying that we also have some very critical needs here in the US, in our states, counties, communities, and literally in our own back yards.

In the last few months, I have personally worked with many people who also have immediate needs, who were being evicted from their homes, have lost their jobs, are in financial crisis and don't know where to turn, have serious medical needs that are going unmet because they can't afford to get medical care, need help finding food to feed their families, and the list goes on and on. Our area is not unique in terms of serious needs arising for families and individuals, it is happening all across our country. From my perspective, we all must also be willing to step up and provide aid and financial support to agencies within our own country who are serving our own people who are in crisis just like we are being so diligent to help agencies who are serving those in other parts of the world who are in crisis. We have hurting people too.

It is so very difficult to hear the hard stories of people in pain and distress, knowing that they are longing for my help to meet their needs, and know that resources to help are very limited. At times I simply have to say, "I don't know what to tell you" or "I'm at a loss as to what to do to help you." These dear ones have come to me for help and there is so little I can do. This too is heartbreaking.

Please let me stress again that I am not proposing that we take an all or nothing perspective from either direction but that we take an "and" perspective. We must be mindful and supportive of others around the world AND those here at home who are in crisis. We must be careful that we don't become so worldly focused that we neglect the needy in our own back yard.

This is just a small glimpse of what my ministry involves. You are not going to hear about this on the nightly news or hear a large outcry to people across the nation or even the world to raise up and help. I just thought you ought to know. Welcome to my world. Blessings!

Christian in Business OR Christian Business Person?

Have you ever thought about what or if there is a difference between being a Christian in business or being a Christian business person? I personally believe that there is a big difference between the two.

From my perspective, a Christian in Business is a person who believes in Christ as their Lord and Savior but uses worldly standards in their business practices. In my world of counseling, there are people who profess to be "Christian" counselors but they don't use scripture and don't strive to teach Godly principles. That is not to say that these counselors do not have quality counseling skills that they have learned through education, but their clients would not experience anything different if they went to a secular counselor.

On the other hand, a Christian Business Person is one who incorporates their Christian values into everything that they do. They use Godly values and principles to make even the most seemingly minor decisions. Again in my world of counseling, a client who receives true Christian counseling will experience Godly advice from scripture, will be challenged to grow spiritually, and will be taught principles using God's Word. This client will experience God's love for them through their counselor. This experience will be very different from receiving secular counseling.

Bottom line. . . .we as believers are not called to simply "talk the talk", we are instructed to "walk the walk"--live out what we profess to believe in every aspect of our lives. We are called to be different and the world will see the difference; they may not understand the difference they see, but they will know we are different and God will give us opportunities to explain why we do what we do that is different. . . . because we are followers of Christ!

This is my ongoing challenge to myself and to all who profess to be believers: to Live out my faith and be different, and to be a very bright light in a very dark world. AMEN.

Seasons of Parenting

As we are experiencing the promise of the season changing from winter to spring, I am once again reminded of other kinds of season changes. Now that my children are all grown and on their own, I have looked back over my husband's and my life as parents and have been able to recognized a variety of seasons we have gone through.

When our children were still in my womb and for approximately the first 9 months of our children's lives, our sole responsibility as their parents was to simply protect, nurture and provide for their basic life-needs. We fed and diapered them, made sure they were in clean clothes, loved and cherished them making sure that they were basically thriving in their new life.

As they grew older (between the ages of 9 months - 5 years old) and started exploring their new world, started developing their own personalities, new dimensions were added to our roles, that of being their teacher and authority. When they exercised their little wills, it was our job to train them and begin the process of molding and shaping their hearts. When they threw a temper tantrum, we responded in a way that communicated to them that their negative behavior was not acceptable. When they tried to defy our rules and directives, we reminded them that they must obey. If they chose not to obey and said, "I'm not going to and you can't make me," we "helped" them obey by sitting them on the chair they refused to sit on, making them stay in bed when they kept popping out of bed, etc.

Between the ages of 5 and 15, our responsibility focus shifted to more of being their authority and teaching relationship building. This was a very important phase because during this season we were teaching them how and who to be under authority to. We taught them good manners, to obey rules, how to express their feelings and opinions appropriately and respectfully. We taught them who to be under authority to, their parents, significan adults in their lives such as family members,teachers, police officers, and most importantly God.

Between the ages of 15 and 18, once again our responsibility focused changed and we started to focus more on developing a healthy relationship and communication with our children. There was a gradual shift from authority to influence taking place. We were quickly approaching the time when we would no longer be able to require that our children obey us because we were their authority. My husband and I both knew and our children did too, that once they reached the age of 18 the law no longer required that our children obey us. Yet our children continued to need our guidance as they learned how to "cross over" into the adult world with adult rules and responsibilities.

During this season, the big focus was to start giving opportunities for our children to begin making some decisions for themselves, and being there to pick them up when they fell, while they were still in our home. As most people know, we learn through trial. . . . .and error. We needed to give our children opportunities to fall, not setting them up for failure but giving legitimate opportunities to develop decision-making skills and problem-solving skills, and then allowing them to practice those skills.

When our children reached the age of 18, if they said, "I'm not going to and you can't make me." they were exactly right, we could no longer force them to obey us. However, if we worked on developing and maintaining healthy relationships with our children during the previous seasons, we as parents were still welcome to give "food for thought" and would have confidence that our children would give serious consideration of mom and dad's perspective and then make their own decisions. That is parental influence. Just because our children reach that magic age of being legally an adult doesn't mean that they stop needing guidance and direction. The question becomes will our parent/child relationship be solid enough for our children to listen to us, not because they have to, but because they WANT to? This is the ultimate goal of the many, sometimes LONG, seasons of our parenting.

I want to encourage all parents, but especially today's young parents, to realize that as our children grow and mature, our parenting responsibilities and styles must also grow and change. Many parents do not understand the different seasons of parenting and fight to remain the authority to their children far into adulthood, which causes strife and sometimes even breaking of relationships with their children, thus causing great heartache for everyone involved.

Remember God's word says that there is a time and season for everything, especially in parenting. No matter how old we get, we still need our parents! God bless as you experience the seasons of parenting.

WOW!! That was fast, Lord!

Have you ever made a request to the Lord and waited for what felt like an eternity for His response? Well, today I had just the opposite experience. I was flying from one appointment to the next, and during my travel time, I had a conversation with God. I shared with Him that it would be so very nice to be able to have my life slow down from the frantic pace that I have been keeping lately.

I have a lot of things going on with involvements at home, at church and at Heart To Heart. I am working hard to juggle many responsibilities, and finding that I have started dropping some of the balls. I asked the Lord if He would please just allow my life's pace to slow down so that I could just relax and smell the spring flowers that will be blooming soon (of which I am TOTALLY looking forward to!).

I proceeded on with what I anticipated to be my very full day. I met with my first client and had a good session and anticipated my next 3 clients showing up, of which none of them did! It is not unusual to have a no-show from time to time, but it is very unusual to have 3 right in a row. All of a sudden, I remembered my earlier conversation with the Lord and realized that He had answered my prayer for a slower day!

Thank You God for knowing exactly what I need, when I need it!

Here We Go Again!

I want to start by saying that God is AMAZING!! Over the last several months I have been feeling very strongly led to work toward opening a satellite Heart To Heart office in the Bloomington/Normal, IL area. God has been revealing to me a tremendous need for H2H to help stand in the gap of services in this new area.

Oh, there are many quality counseling services in Bloomington/Normal, just not enough to meet the growing needs for counseling support. God has impressed upon my heart that we must go into this "new world" and be His ambassadors to the hurting people. I have been asking God how we can possibly do this, seeing as how we are struggling each month to cover the financial responsibilities for the Flanagan office. It just didn't seem humanly possible but yet I have felt a strong sense of urgency to make this new office a reality!

Well, guess what! It is NOT humanly, possible, but with God all things are possible! I was having a hard time thinking "outside the box" in terms of how to accomplish this God-sized assignment. I was thinking that we would have to be able to purchase our current building, which would free up $1,200/month we are paying in rent to go toward renting office space in Bloomington. Unfortunately the money was not coming in to allow us to purchase the building so I began to question if this was what Sandy wanted or was it what God wanted us to do.

Recently I was reminded by a long-time friend and colleague, Lon Alderman, about how God has worked in the past, 10 years ago June 1 of this year to be exact, to bring Heart To Heart into being. We started out in one small office in our local grain elevator. We had our first session scheduled before we had figured out where our office was going to be. Then as the ministry grew, we moved into our second location until we outgrew that space, and then moved into our current location. Lon reminded me that God could move in the very same way to begin the ministry in Bloomington! What an amazing idea!

Lon also reminded me of the Israelites as they were getting ready to cross the Jordan river, which was at flood stage. God did not stop the waters and tell His people to cross, He told them to cross and AFTER they put their feet into the water, He stopped the water so they could cross on dry ground. Could that be what He is asking us to do at H2H?

This thought of just getting down to Bloomington and not worrying about having our own building/office space has been completely oposite of what I was thinking and presents an opportunity for a HUGE leap of faith, once again. As I have begun to look for open doors for us to borrow some office space, it appears that God is opening doors for us! God is providing the dry ground for us to cross from Flanagan to Bloomington.

I already have 4 sessions scheduled in Bloomington without knowing for sure where exactly we will be meeting. I know without a doubt that God will open the doors for meeting space at the perfect time. This is exactly how H2H in Flanagan started 10 years ago and look where we are today! God has been and will continue to be faithful and blesses when we are willing to take that leap of faith, so . . . .hang on because here we go AGAIN!

Is That You God??

Have you ever wondered how you will know for sure that you have heard from God and not just having your own thoughts or allowing the thoughts of others to influence you? In my counseling work, I hear this question over and over again. . . ."How can I know for sure when God is speaking to me?"

Henry Blackaby, in his book Experiencing God, identifies four ways that God speaks to His children.

1. Through , the Bible (God's Holy and authoritative Word)
2. Through our prayer time talking with Him (don't forget to be quiet and listen too)
3. Through life circumstances (there are no coincidences)
4. Through the counsel of other believers (not just anybody who offers an opinion)

You can be sure that you are hearing God when all of these forms of communication match up and begin to point in the same direction. Remember that God does not contradict Himself. When you hear from God, you will experience confirmation. . . .which is a peace that passes all understanding, the Peace of God.

Blackaby also reminds us that God is at work all around us all the time, both within and outside of our sight. Even when God seems to be "silent", we can have confidence that He is working. Remember how Jesus invited his disciples to join Him? He did NOT say, "come and follow me and we will go here and stay for x number of days, we will do this to take care of our needs, we will then move on to this next city, etc." He simply said "come and follow me". Amazingly, from my perspective, everyone of the disciples did exactly that. . . followed Jesus, without question. We must remember that we too are on an "as needed to know" basis and that we can trust in the fact that He will reveal His plan at the perfect time just like He did with his beloved disciples.

This "blind faith" is so very counter-cultural for us today. We go to trainings and seminars to learn how to do long-range planning and to learn how to use technology to help us manage our busy schedules. We are challenged and encouraged to plan for the future. Please don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting that planning is wrong, but we need to be very careful to leave plenty of room for God to lead us, and to remember that God's ways , more often than not, are not our ways.

On this life adventure, I have learned that flexibility is the key and that I need to listen to God. He is here, He is speaking and He is leading. I simply need to watch, wait and listen for His quiet voice and enjoy the ride!

Showers of Kisses

We have all just experienced Valentine's Day. Mine was very interesting. My husband and I waited until early evening to exchange our gifts. I presented him with my "love card" and chocolate heart, and then not-so-patiently waited for him to present me with his expressions of love.

After a little while, I started wondering if he had gotten me anything at all. I was sitting on the couch in our living room with my back to the doorway. The next thing I knew, he came up behind me and was dumping candy on my head!! At first I was offended, feeling kind of like someone had thrown water in my face. Feeling very aggravated, I asked him what he was doing! He said, "I'm showering you with kisses!"

Immediately, his explanation put the whole situation into perspective for me. The candy he was "dumping" on my head was Hershey Kisses. . . . he was showering me with Hershey Kisses!!! My attitude about the whole experience instantly changed from feeling offended to feeling that my husband was the most romantic man on earth!

As I look back on that experience, I have begun to be exceedingly thankful that God looks beyond my actions and behaviors to what the motivating factor is in my heart, what the heart meaning is. I am thankful that God knows my heart and the love that I have inside even when at times I don't express it very effectively!

It has been a really busy couple of weeks for me. God has been busy reminding me that He is in control and I am not! His plans are being worked out moment by moment. A major snow storm rearranged my plans to head to IN to visit with my daughter and speak at a chapel service to about 100 7th through 12th graders at Granger Christian School in Granger, IN. As the Lord would have it, the chapel service was able to be rescheduled to Friday after I was able to get out to IN.

Early in that week I was once again asking God what He was up to messing up my plans, and He showed me that He was allowing me time on that snow day to get a major grant application written and to be able to meet the submission deadline. Had MY plans worked out, I would not have had the time to accomplish this task. Once again, God is in control and His plans are absolutely perfect.

In the message that I shared with the students at GCS, I challenged the students to actively look for God moving and working in their lives. I continue to have wonderful opportunities to "practice what I was preaching" and I HAVE seen God moving in my life in amazing ways. I thank God for HIS plans!

Dedicate-A-Day

This is the "month of love", when we celebrate Valentine's Day and express our love to important people in our lives through giving special gifts and doing acts of kindness. There is all kinds of hype about buying candy, sending flowers, etc. to those that we love, and quite frankly if we don't do that for whatever reason, there can be some unpleasant outcomes for our oversight.

It is thought to be a secular holiday, but in reality we find the sentiment of Valentine's Day clear back in biblical times. If you will recall, many many times in the Old Testament of God's Word, the Israelites were instructed by God to put up an alter (usually a rock) to mark the spot where something significant happened in the life of an individual, family or even to the Israelite nation or more importantly to simply honor God. God called His people to remember those events and to give God honor and praise for His involvement and provision in the situations.


I believe that we should follow the Israelites' example and remember and commemorate significant people and events in our lives today, not just during Valentine's Day, but throughout the whole year.

The kind of gifts we choose to give are very important. Candy lasts for a short time and can pack on unwanted pounds, flowers wilt and die after a few days, and going out for dinner is a short-lived, fun experience. But I have another gift idea. Heart To Heart Support Services, N.F.P., a Not For Profit ministry in central Illinois, is providing opportunities to honor loved ones and commemorate special, significant events in our lives by making a donation of $100 or more to H2H. With this gift, you are giving honor to your loved one and blessing others through your support of the ministry. Your gift continues to live on long after the day has passed. Please check the H2H website at Heart2HeartServe.org for more information on how to make a dedication.

I pray that you take advantage of this wonderful Valentine's Day season to bless those you love and honor them in special ways. We can never express our appreciation to one another too much and everyone needs to know that they are loved. Let's be sure to show and tell them.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read this blog! You are an encouragement to me and I am honored to have the privilege of sharing my heart thoughts with you. Have a blessed and Happy Valentine's Day season!

Have you ever seen a "Where's Waldo" picture? Waldo is this cute little guy who is hidden in a very busy, chaotic picture filled with lots of cars, people, buildings, animals, etc. The object of the picture game is to find Waldo.

Sometimes life is like a "Where's Waldo" picture. It gets very busy and chaotic. The chaos is caused by all different kinds of things like demands from work, commitments to organizations and activities, responsibilities at home, and even major life events like weddings, new babies and even funerals, etc.

Oftentimes when life gets chaotic, we get overwhelmed and begin to wonder "where's God?" We know He's there somewhere, but we just can't seem to find Him. In His Word, God tells us that "if you seek Me, you will find Me." During those times of busyness and chaos, we need to ask, "God, where are You?" We need not doubt His presence, but we do need help finding Him.

Just like in the "Where's Waldo" picture, it is easy to miss seeing God, but when we intentionally look for God, we will find Him; and when we find Him, we also find the peace that we long for in the midst of our Chaos.

So, when life gets chaotic and we are overwhelmed by all of the things life is throwing at us, let's remember to ask God to help us find Him . We will not only find God, but we will also find His peace. Have a peaceful, blessed day!

Food For Thought

The Saturday before Christmas this past year my dear friend and pastor, Steve Estes, went home to be with his Lord in heaven. This was a terrible shock to everyone who knew Steve, and particularly to our church family and to me.

At the visitation and funeral, people were sharing thoughts and remembrances of Pastor Steve. Here are a very few of the statements I heard shared: He was a passionate man, boisterous, had a booming voice, a faithful friend, man of prayer, man of God, "was the real deal", and many other comments. The last comment, "was the real deal", was a very powerful comment to me. This person was saying that Pastor Steve was genuine and daily lived what he preached.

This experience of losing Pastor Steve's presence with us (he is not lost, we know exactly where he is. . . in Heaven with Jesus) has caused me to wonder what people will say about me when I am gone. How will people remember me? What attributes of mine will stand out? What will be my legacy? I am reminded that I am influencing the answers to these questions today, this very day, by how I am living my life.

So who am I? I am down to earth, nothing flashy, every day "Jane on the street", simply a child of God. I make mistakes, I have faults just like everybody else, but . . . I am redeemed by my Savior, loved by the God of the universe, and a child of the King. I am striving, like Pastor Steve succeeded in doing, to be the "real deal". With all of this in mind, I have great a responsibility to walk humbly with my God, allowing Him to work out His purpose and plan in my life. I am consciously seeking His wisdom and direction, making every effort to love as Jesus does and to allow things that break God's heart to break mine also, to have the heart and mind of God.

When it is all said and done, my heart's desire when God calls me home is to have people simply remember me as a woman after God's own heart.

Surrender

As I have reflected on 2009, I have been reminded of some very important spiritual lessons that I learned through adversity. One of the BIG lessons had to do with surrender and what that means, looks like and how it feels.

Last September I had a bout with kidney stones the week before I was scheduled to go to a hugely important conference where I was to earn my year's worth of continuing education credits. I ended up in the ER on Labor Day night in severe pain of which I knew from previous experience exactly what the cause was. . . the dreaded kidney stones. I was given big pain meds. and sent home with instructions to make an appointment with my urologist ASAP.

The following morning my husband, Rob, set the appointment with the urologist for the next day. I met with my doctor, with whom I had seen before, and he shared that, because of my previous history with kidney stones, he went ahead and took the liberty of scheduling for the next day a procedure to blast the stones. I was rejoicing and praising God that He was working everything out in a timely manner so that I could keep my plans to attend the conference.

I had the procedure done and all went well. I passed a few pieces of stones the next two days and was feeling a LOT better and believed that I was home free to be able to attend the conference. Then the SECOND wave of stone passing hit. It was Saturday and I was scheduled to leave for the conference the next Tuesday. I became so discouraged and I admitted to God how I was feeling and that I felt that satan was winning this battle, which made me very sad and frustrated, but I just couldn't help it.

I was out of control (of which drives me crazy!) and things just weren't working out the way I wanted them to!!! I fussed and fumed about the situation for the rest of the evening and had difficulty sleeping, not because of the physical pain but because of my discouragement about the whole situation. Finally I calmed down enough to be able to hear God's quiet voice reminding me that He was in control and that HE would work all of this out.

God helped me to start thinking "outside the box" and realize that even if I couldn't go to the conference, there were other ways that I could get my CEU's. I finally was able to surrender the conference to God and told God that I really was ok about not going to the conference if that was what God had planned for me. Immediately I was at peace with however He would work out the situation. The moment I surrendered my plans to God, an incredible peace came over me, the pain subsided and I was able to get restful, peaceful sleep.

The next day, I was feeling a lot better and over the next couple days I was back to normal again. I was able to attend the conference and get the needed CEU's. I believe with all my heart that I was able to recover from the kidney stones and attend the conference because I was finally able to surrender.

I am learning that I don't have to like what happens, I don't even have to understand what happens, but I DO need to trust God through what happens and He will work it all out in His amazing way and in such a way that He will get the glory! I want to give God the glory for His working in my heart through kidney stones to teach me about surrender.

This week in ministry has been a week of extremes. I have had the privilege of rejoicing over new-found strength and healing with one client and have met with yet another client who was in the deepest, darkest depths of despair struggling to live.

The word "hope" is the common theme here. One found hope through healing and one is longing for hope to survive. Through it all, I have been able to share hope. . . .even allowing them to borrow my hope when they are not able to find their own.

My personal hope comes from God, who is the giver and sustainer of life. He is what I have shared with these dear ones. God has called me to ministry here at Heart To Heart and He is equipping me daily and even moment-by-moment as I minister to those He leads to our doors. What a joy and privilege I have to see God do amazing things through me. I am His tool, He is the miracle worker!